God >The Doctor
True peace comes from knowing that God is in control
I've been through so much with this pregnancy. I may have talked a little about my complications on my other blogs but, I wanted to go into more details with this time. Note that I named my baby Journee for a reason. I truly believe God gave me that name for a reason. It was a journey trying to conceive her and it has continued on during my whole pregnancy. One thing, I truly believe that you go though things for reasons and you may not understand while your going through. It really amazes me because once it's all over, you realize why. I go to two doctors because they consider this pregnancy as high risk. Every time I went to see my high risk doctor, he kept telling me things just to get me to come back.
At 20 weeks, I found out that I had Placenta Previa which means I would have to have a C-section, and then they found a cyst on Journey's brain that would cause her to pass a week after birth. No mother wants to hear these things during her pregnancy. I never had a c-section and I did not want to stay on bed rest because of the Placenta Previa. But I had to stop all activity because I couldn't put pressure on the placenta because it could cause myself and my baby life at risk. Hearing that my baby girl may have a infection that could cause her to pass as soon as she is born, it was too much for me to take in at once! I called my mom in tears but she encouraged me as always and I wiped my tears and started to pray to God. Waiting on those test results was the longest ten days of my life. Although I put my trust in God and left it all in his hands, my heart still was hurting to think something could happen to my baby. Never did I stop trusting him, never did I doubt him, never did I question him. I simply said," whatever is in your will."
I was sitting at my sons school when I got a call. It was my doctor with my results. He told me the test results came back negative! I just started crying. He went on to tell me that her down syndrome test came back borderline positive and they wanted to stick a needle in my belly to get better results. The down fall is that the test could cause me to miscarry. I immediately declined the test. I did not want to lose my baby; therefore, I had come to the conclusion that whatever or however she is, I will love her and just have to deal with Gods will. My doctor then asked me to come in to do another ultrasound so that they can look at her heart and body features to determine whether or not she had down syndrome. A part of me wanted to say no, because at that point I had prayed and put all my trust in God and I believe with all my heart that my daughter was healthy. No test results would make me believe anything different! I went on to the appointment and once again I started to worry but this time, I quickly remember GODS WORD. This verse came to me:
"Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
The enemy kept trying to put worry and doubt in my mind. I prayed and I left it in Gods hands and I smiled God gave me an inner peace that I just can't explain. I knew the devil couldn't destroy my baby no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't touch her! I remember the night before the appointment I stayed up all night I couldn't sleep and I talk to Journee and God and told her no matter what the outcome she was my baby girl. I continued to thank God for blessing me with her and that day I had so much peace in my heart. Thomas and I walked in that appointment with NO worries. I laid on the doctors table and they started to exam her. Every body part of Journee was the size of a normal baby! Her heart was beating and looked just like a normal healthy babies heart! The cyst that she had in her brain were GONE!!!! ON TOP OF THAT, I no longer had Placenta Previa! The doctor couldn't believe it! He said he never seen anything like it before! WHOSE REPORT ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE? I believe the REPORT OF THE LORD ALMIGHTY!
No one can ever tell me my God Isn't real and that he isn't a healer! You can not make me believe that GOD doesn't hear your prayers and that when he says he's going to do something he will NEVER disappoint you! I never once lost faith. I never once stop believing. I looked at that doctor and said,"She is going to be fine do not tell me another negative thing because my God is Grater than you! my God is greater then your test results!"
Of course I cried and praised God my whole way home! I have been praying for Journee for many years. God knows that I always would say that when I marry the right man, he will bless me with a daughter and he kept his word. He gave me the desires of my heart Psalm 37:4 I am over-joyed and excited. I can not explain or describe my feelings every time I think about her because it has been a journey and I know that it doesn't end here. God knows that I am always open and willing to be an open vessel for HIS use. I have been through so much and God has allowed me to touched so many women with my stories. I just want God to continue to use me in anyway possible that I may decrease so that HE IS EXALTED and LIFTED!
Your going to go through the storms but anytime you go through, be encouraged and know it is for a reason. The real question is Who do you trust? Man or God?
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
This is a song that I worshiped to daily while I was going through. Many of you may have heard it before. If not, I pray that it will bless you just as much as it blessed and encouraged me during my trail.