Mommin'It Of The Month
I am an African American woman married to very handsome man who is Vietnamese. We have been married for almost 10 years now. I have four beautiful children that am I very grateful for. Their ages range from 15 to 1 so there are many challenges from having one in high school, two in elementary school and a toddler. My oldest is very active in sports at school and also attends several accelerated classes. My youngest, who is a toddler is high energy and just started walking and the two middle girls always want to help. Chaotic as things get at times, I love being a mother and wife. I love my family. Although being in a interracial marriage can be complicated, we as a family have learned to overcome most of the complications. There are obstacles we have encounter that other families do not have to deal with. Like when we are out as a family and no one thinks we are together or when people make remarks about your spouse’s race or they try to "guess" your children's ethnicity. Sometimes it is hilarious because people do not recognize you as a couple so they will try to hit on you or your spouse because they do not think you are together. Then, dealing with the stares when they find out you are together. But, what really bothers me and was the hardest for me to overcome is when people do not believe my kids are actually my kids. They think I am babysitting! At the end of the day, I have learn that my family and marriage is so much more than what anyone else thinks. We are a happy, loving family that I thank God for each and every day.
Another big challenge for me as mother is my husband is a Marine. Military life can be very strenuous at times. It is filled with unexpected surprises every step of the way. I did know what military life was like because my father served in the USAF (US Air Force) for 21 years and retired. So, I am accustom to the frequent moves, deployments, separations and the overall feeling that life is a like a revolving door. But at the same time, what I did not know is you spend a lot of time parenting alone. The first deployment was the hardest. Each subsequent separation turns you into a bag of nerves, despite the planning, prep and support. It doesn't get easier, you simply learn to choose happiness in the midst of some really challenging circumstances. Some days you feel lonely and others, you feel like a strong tower. Over the years, I have learned how to parent alone and how to keep my marriage strong even though we spend a lot of time apart. I have learned to find the positive in the midst of the really hard moments. As a military wife and mom, you have to make the sacrifice of putting your career on hold for your spouse and your kids. Moving all over the place and maintaining a career is not easy. That is why it is important for us moms to find the right balance in our marriage, family and daily lives. We give so much of ourselves. There nothing wrong with making the most of your family time. But I believe you need to take care of your own emotional well-being and let your children spend some time away from you. Whether it is a date night with your husband or scheduling one night off so you can have some alone time.
When it is all said and done, I would not trade my life for anything. Being a mother of four kids is a blessing and I feel honored to have such a wonderful family! I have learned to be tolerant, flexible and resilient. I am capable enough to manage my household single-handedly, but humble enough to step aside when my husband returns from duty. Why? Because I am strong, resilient and tougher than even I imagine myself to be
Danielle you are an amazing strong, unselfish, faithful women. We thank you and your husband for your service to our country and for this reason, I am crowning you mommin'it of the month!