• Marissa

Working Mom Vs. Stay at home Mom

You've got a new baby and a mortgage to pay. So, should you go back to work or stay home to raise your baby? There is a change in trend, more women are considering the stay-at-home option.

I have had my experience in both situations and right now I am a stay at home mom. I do have Sweet Treats to keep me busy and other times, it's just me and my crew. I have been a stay at home mother for three months. The first time I stayed home for four years. I know the feeling of being a working mom and a stay at home mom. I have my moments with staying home. Sometimes I feel like this can not be my life! LOL There has to be something more for me to do then to be home with kids all day. But when I am working, I find myself wishing I was home! SMH So it is a catch 22 situation!

Some of the pros for staying home is I have more time with my kids. I am not rushed to do everything! I stay in a good mood and I have the time to be active with my kids schools and other extra activities that they are involved in. Also I have more patience helping them with their homework. Financially it helps because I don't have to worry about paying for after school care, or finding a sitter. The cons for when I worked was by the time I got home, I only had four hours before my kids bedtime. Now on the other hand, the pros of working is extra income in the home, having a social life outside of my kids, and being able to get dressed up to get out of the house. When you are home all day, you start to feel like you are cut off from the adult world.

I decided to stay home with Journee. It was a VERY hard decision to make. Trust me, I still to this day I am going back and forth with my decision. But I do honestly believe that it is the best decision. After hearing so many stories on the news about daycare and people hurting kids, I just rather sacrifice everything and stay home until I am comfortable enough for her to go to daycare or a sitter. Now this may not be the best choice from some people, I do understand. Some mothers have to do what is best for their household. Below you will find a list to help you make your decision if your having a hard time trying to figure out what is best for you and your home.

How to Choose Between Home and Work

If you're a mother trying to decide whether to stay home, work full time, or work part time, here are six things to consider:

1. Money. Your family's financial picture is obviously important as basic needs such as food, shelter, clothing, and health care costs need to be covered. Beyond the essentials, household needs vary, and it is up to you and your family to decide whether staying at home, working part time, or working full time will work best. If you decide to stay home, consider what the loss of income will mean for the family and for your own spending. Make sure to discuss this with your significant other.

2. Personal preference. It is important to determine your own feelings about working and staying home, because it can make a difference in your child's life. Experts say a mother's level of fulfillment and the quality (versus quantity) of time she spends with her child are the biggest components to his intellectual and emotional development and to his ability to succeed in the world. "If mom is a happier person, then she is going to have a more fulfilling and therefore healthier relationship with her kids.

3. Your significant other. Your partner's support of your decision is very important; otherwise there could be many problems in your home. If the person that you're living with is unsupportive, he or she may not help you with finances, child rearing, or household chores. Resentments could build up on both sides. If you and your significant other disagree over whether you should stay home or work, recommends a six-month trial period followed by an evaluation to see how one option works for the family. Also, whatever course of action you take, make sure to run by potential issues with your partner. If you decide to work, for example, it's important to figure out details such as how long maternity and paternity leave will be, who will pick up kids from daycare or school, or who will care for them when they're sick.

4. Family/Friends support. Wherever you are, make sure you have a group of people who will support you. If you stay at home, look for other moms in the neighborhood who are dealing with the same issues. Stay-at-home moms need to have adult interaction, and all moms can benefit from being around other women who face the same issues.

5. Career and Workplace. How family friendly your employer is can play a huge role in how difficult it will be to stay home or continue working. Even before you have a baby, look for a job that will be respectful of your family's values. "If your employer is not flexible of working parents ... then it's going to make working that much harder. If you decide to stay home, determine how likely it will be for you to return to your job or career.

6. Culture. Expectations of mothers in families and society can make it difficult for women who have different ideas. If the family tradition involves staying at home to take care of children, for example, working moms may end up feeling guilty about leaving their children in day care. At the same time, a growing culture of intensive parenting - where the mother and child bond are emphasized - may pressure some women to stay home. All of the family and cultural demands can make a woman feel guilty and resentful.

Living With Your Decision

Whether you choose to stay at home, work full time, or work or part time, keep in mind that there's no such thing as perfect motherhood.

"You can read 25 books by child care experts, and it's still not as valuable as getting in touch with what kind of mom you want to be and need to be to take care of your children.

You may end up making a choice that could prove to be difficult for the household. For instance, if you choose to stay home or work part time, finances could be stretched thin. In such cases, being strong within yourself, remembering why your choice is the best for you and your family. Then think about how you can cope with the situation.

"Motherhood - we don't have it figured out and then lock into it

"Every few months, everything changes, and you've got to just roll with it."



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